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I quitted today

 
I quitted today, my newspaper column, not my day job. Sometimes I do wish I could quit both. To find something to put into the column every other week was not an easy task. It could be one of the reasons that I can’t work on my novels. I am thirty-six this year. The dream of becoming a novelist has never faded. And I know it would come back to haunt me soon.

Maybe I deserve the haunting and taunting though. If there is a God of literacy, it would be pretty pissed at this point. I’ve used my aspiring novelist status so much that even myself found it ridicules. I could get wasted. I could go to places where decent human beings wouldn’t go. I could try illegal substance although I would never admit to that. And when I was single, many times I could begin my conversation with a girl: "I want to hear your story" and end up in bed with her.

With all that, last time I checked, I have completed 0.0% of my novel.

It’s not because of lack of preparation. I have a big box of sharpened pencils, which I can’t write without. I have the graph paper that people use to draw charts, the only kind of paper that I can write on. I have writing materials. Unlike my super dull life, people I talked to all live their lives more fully and I did take all their great stories into the heart. I have watched many movies. I read too. If there is a competition of the best preparation work for novel writing, I can win that easily.

But there is not. And I completed 0.0% of my novel.

It’s not because of lack of anticipation or expectation. I appreciate my friends who ask about my writing status once a while. I know you would like to read it. I would too, probably a lot more than you. There are also harsh inquiries, like the ones coming from my ex-brother-in-law. He quitted his good day job couple years ago to become a full-time writer. Crazy and immature, I thought. I had much better writing style and got more recognition at his age. Of course now he is a well-established novelist. By the way, when he quitted his day job, he created a little social network website. As a huge blow to my wisdom, his website has become one of the hottest online properties. He will turn into a young multi-millionaire when he feels like selling it to Google or Yahoo one day. Not to my surprise, he won't forget to ask where my great novel is every time I meet him. Maybe he should take easy on me since his sister dumped me. Anyhow, I would still appreciate if it helps.

But with all that, I completed 0.0% of my novel.

It’s not because of lack of intention. I want to finish my novel. I want to alter people’s life and make people happier through my writing. I want people to think of my words like that way I think of Haruki Murakami’s all the time. Like this:

No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% perfect boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about. --On Seeing The 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning, Haruki Murakami

With one powerful paragraph like that, I want people to wonder if they miss their 100% perfect person, to understand the other person couldn’t say anything because he/she is afraid of going to pieces, to sit down and take a deep breath when they find themselves in the same situation and will never be able to recover, and, to realize what growing older is all about. With one powerful paragraph like that, I want to get into people’s life. And I want to have more than one, of course.

But no matter what I want, I completed 0.0% of my novel.

However I know it will change soon.
 

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foxracoon寫道…
有了個勇敢的開始 希望很快能看到您的大作

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中時觀念平台: <白忙一場的血襪生涯>

二○○四年十月十九日,波士頓紅襪隊的冠軍夢又在破碎的邊緣。在這個美國聯盟冠軍的七戰四勝系列戰裡,洋基勢如破竹先拿下三場勝利,紅襪好不容易追回來兩場,稍微帶來了一些希望。可是,這天的比賽回到了洋基球場,如果說惡夢有劇本,這該死的紐約,這該死的第六戰,先發的又是第一戰因為腳踝受傷被洋基打爆的席林(Curt Schilling),一九八六年紅襪國度的心碎,似乎已經冥冥註定要在十幾年後重現。

還好,先發的是席林,還好紅襪隊的隊醫在賽前史無前例地替他動了特殊的手術,把他右腳踝的腓短肌用手術縫線暫時固定起來,這場比賽席林的表現跟第一戰判若兩人,七局的投球僅僅失了一分,讓紅襪隊成為季後賽史上第一次從三比○的勝場落後,追平而後終於贏得系列戰的球隊。在這場比賽,跟幾天後總冠軍戰的第二場比賽裡,席林腳上的襪子都因為縫線的摩擦而明顯滲出血跡,這個影像成為紅襪破除魔咒的艱苦過程裡,最動人心弦的畫面。那雙血紅的襪子,也因此進入了名人堂的展覽室。

席林,征戰二十個球季、三千多局、兩百多勝的巨投,有將近六成的勝率,三枚總冠軍戒。他在三年前退休,生涯光是來自球隊的薪水就超過三十億台幣。退休以後,他還是經常出現在鎂光燈前,除了擔任球評之外,身為忠貞的共和黨員,他在選舉期間總是以保守派大將的姿態為自己的陣營助選,也吸引了不少的目光。十幾天前,席林又出現在媒體的面前,不過,這次的宣布卻讓許多人嚇了一跳。

「什麼都沒有了」,他說。38工作室,席林一手創立的遊戲軟體公司,在幾年以內把他所有的錢全部賠光。不只是這樣,他跟羅德島州政府貸款了二十幾億台幣,也完全還不出來。運動畫刊曾經估計,將近八成的職業美式足球員,在退休兩年以內就會破產或是遭受財務的危機,職業籃球員也有六成球員,會在五年之內破產。相較之下,席林遭遇的結果雖然相同,過程卻是情有可原。他並不是因為揮霍或是炫富而失去自己的財產,而是因為錯估了市場跟自己的能力,如果吳宗憲要在美國找個跟他一樣轉投資把錢賠光的難兄難弟,席林就是不二的人選。

當然事情發生以後,來自各處的冷言冷語嘲諷不斷,最多的批評就是席林的保守派政治立場一向主張縮減政府的權力跟降低稅負,他卻拿政府的大筆貸款毫不手軟。媒體也對他公司旗下的四百名員工感到不值,許多人因為公司遷居,卻在無預警的情況下失業,生計因此遭到困難。

事實上,勝敗乃兵家常事,席林贏了兩百一十六場大聯盟的比賽,也…

聯合報名人堂:<川普政權的震盪效應>

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美國歌壇天后泰勒絲(Taylor Swift)的一九八九巡迴演唱會,是二○一五年度全球歌壇最成功的演出。八十五場演場會,吸引兩百廿七萬名觀眾,總收入將近八十億台幣。泰勒絲能唱能寫,跟巴布狄倫同被滾石雜誌列為史上百大詞曲創作人,雖然兩者名次有點差距,不過年輕的天后如果再進步一些,也可能比村上春樹先拿到諾貝爾文學獎。

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有些球迷卻因此不開心。為什麼會這樣呢?答案,就在今天的節目裡。
雲端重播網址:
http://bravo913.com.tw/index.php?route=choice/program_detail_song&choice_program_song_id=13999

0-1 All You Had To Do Was Stay
演唱者/演奏者:Taylor Swift/Big Machine/2014

1-1 Simple Twist of Fate (Bob Dylan Song)
演唱者/演奏者:Diana Krall/Fontana/2012

1-2 Seven Curses (Bob Dylan Song)
演唱者/演奏者:Joan Baez/Fontana/2012

2-1 Only Superstition
演唱者/演奏者:Cold Play/Fierce Panda Records/1999

2-2 Black Cat
演唱者/演奏者:Janet Jackson/A&M/1989

3-1 Superstition
演唱者/演奏者:Stevie Wonder/Tamla/1972

3-2 Don't Think Twice It's All Right
演唱者/演奏者:Bob Dylan/Columbia Records/1963